The truth about para men and any woman

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The truth about para men and any woman

Postby Jeffb334 » 20 May 2011, 18:43

Been a para for a lot of years now. Here's a secret: There are good guys and guys not so good. Here's another secret: The good guys who are paraplegics care more about satisfying you than anything else. In ANY decent man's mind, in bed you want to be awesome for your partner.
For me, and I do not think I am alone, I wanted to KNOW whatever makes my partner feel incredible.
Most times, that never involved being able to walk.
My hands, my tongue, my --- I don't know the proper way to say it--my cock (no matter how I got it hard)-- everything is involved. The goal is to please your partner and to make the connection between you and your partner be the closest it can be.
So overall I have a few pieces of advice :
1) If you're a guy, a para, and she is even CLOSE to being in bed with you, then she likes YOU! She sees the chair less, MUCH LESS, than she sees YOU. No matter how many barriers you put up. She sees you as a MAN! Probably more than you do sometimes.

2)If you are a woman interested in/dating/whatever you want to do with a guy in a chair, ASK QUESTIONS!!! We won't be insulted. Far from it. We will be happy you even have those thoughts about us!!! And we would rather have you know the truth up front than going along with assumptions or stereotypes.

(3 and 4 are quick sex tips)
3) Guys, a MAJORITY of women achieve orgasm not from intercourse, but from other methods. If I have to describe further, you're not getting laid anyway.......
4)Girls who are in bed with a para: VERY sensiive stuff. But my one suggestion is finding out the lowest point on his body he can feel-- both in back an in front-- and caressing that as you would his penis. let him feel what he can feel. Your fingernails, your fingertips. And guys, just let them. You WILL orgasm.
5) The orgasm I mentioned earlier for guys who are para's is not the SAME as it would be if you werent paralyzed. It is DIFFERENT. It will be better or worse depending on how truly intimate you are with your partner.

I really want to write a blog about this. I know what I am talking about. i know the insecurities on both sides. I know the WANTS for the other person on both sides. I have learned it the "hard" way, and the easy way. Would anyone be interested in like 2-4 posts about insights on sex with a paraplegic man?Jeffb334

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Jeffb334
 
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Re: The truth about para men and any woman

Postby admin » 20 May 2011, 18:55

Jeff - everyone would love to hear your views - please feel free to post. Any information you can provide will have someone who identifies with it or is able to adapt it to their own needs. Welcome to SecSCI.me!
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Re: The truth about para men and any woman

Postby Badger » 20 May 2011, 18:58

Hey Jeff
:-) Good call, you so hit a few nails on the head there. Confidence goes a long way and I always say questions are good, keeps people on their toes and clears the air. Still, I found its important to be true to yourself as well. Good hearing from you.
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Re: The truth about para men and any woman

Postby Jeffb334 » 20 May 2011, 22:45

I was once told by a girl who rejected my prom invite that "If you werent in a wheelchair, you'd be HOT!" I got another date for the prom.
But the point is that SOME women are going to think this way. But SOME women are going to think that blue eyes are what matters. Once I actually started to believe the things girls/women told me were "hot" about me, I realized that there were ALL SORTS OF WOMEN OUT THERE!!! Not just shallow ones!
There were two really hard parts for me to accept though:
1) I know I am looking for the "dreamgirl", the hottie, who will also be the mother of my children. I am no less shallow than anyone else!!!
2) The level of my shallowness did not allow me to see how I could possibly be attractive to someone else and I therefore eliminated myself (in my own mind) as a potential partner because I was seeing me through my own shallow lenses and believing that. I could not see how others, without such lenses c ould see me.
This led me to the ultimate dating/relationship approach: Look for what you like and need, and you will find someone else who is doing the same thing. Lo and behold, you might just match. Might not, but might. But if you look for the person who "would never like me", that is exactly who you will find.
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Location: MiddletownCT

Re: The truth about para men and any woman

Postby Badger » 07 Jun 2011, 12:53

Sweet, I like your approach Jeffb334

However, what advice would you give to someone who isnt quite as confident as yourself? How could they (after such a physical impairment) become to belive that they are beautiful, and they could have the life they dont believe they deserve?

I found time, friends, books, and mostly communication helped. Some will say I already had it, but it is easier to 'front' than have real selfbelief. Im just interested in how and what motivated you to this level :-D

Love your work & keep it up :D
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